The self help fascism

So I got this book out of the library about CBT I think it's called, and how you are meant to conduct a relationship.
Liked some of it, but kept thinking: why wasn't I given this on my wedding day??
Why doesn't anyone make sure you know this stuff?
It's all pretty clear and simple and seems pretty much idiot proof.
F'r instance.
How to talk, how not to row, how to get what you want said to be listened to, how to arrive at solving problems in the bedroom.
Example: If he wants more sex than you, have a set night for sex and try and stick to it.
eg once a week on a Friday. The argument that it 'takes away the spontaneity' is answered by saying : There isn't spontaneity anyway, as always it's one who has to initiate the sex when you think about it. And it takes away the arguments and tension, knowing it's going to happen and getting your head ready for it, kind of thing. It's a nice compromise.
I wonder IF we had read this goddamn book would we be going through this nightmare, with all the associated legal bills and sons upset and all that schtick.
Other idea: Set aside ten minutes or 30 minutes talking time a day or week, in which items are discussed and 'actioned' eg I want you to clean the toilet , and him: I want you to suggest positions in bed, or whatever.
This is the model for all meetings so why expect marriages to be somehow magically and telepathically charmed in a silent and intuitive pas de deux?
He did cite 'lack of communication' for the reason our marriage went down the pan, but ..who was making that not happen? Both of us, in fact. But I DID try, and ..oh well. Then the book goes into how divorce should be avoided as much as humanly possible as it like bereavement only worse and has all these associated health problems ..eeekkk!
WHY did no one tell us this?
Everyone tells us to get divorced, give up, split up , start over- but secretly everyone knows it's at least TWO years of misery, grief, anger, regrets, loneliness, angst, nostalgia, self loathing, more anger, sickness, nausea, insomnia, panic attacks! And that's even for those of us who KNEW it was the right thing to do! Never mind the financial cost and the effect on the kids. Aaargh. AND men seem to have the full range of ages available to choose from but who wants a tired old divorcee in her 50s with a fat arse and two teenagers? Oh dearie dearie me.